August -- Oh boy!

August: Ooofta!

This month has been crazy busy. Between our Marriage Matters(a small group at our church), baby, car shopping and family I am one pooped girl.

So, how about some details? Okay...

This month we are in charge of our monthly married couples event which in and of itself is not that exhausting but you add on extra meetings, making customized flyers and remaking and remaking those customized flyers and all the other details of event planning and you find yourself a bit overwhelmed. Of course if this was the only addition to our regular activities we would be fine.

Next comes the car selling/car buying we've been doing. See, I drive... er, drove a 1999 Ford Mustang GT. I live in Minnesota. I have a baby coming. Those three things do not play well together.

So, we decided to sell my beautiful green baby and get me an SUV (which I love!). That was fun! We ended up dropping our asking price for my car dramatically, then selling it to a guy from Wisconsin who wanted me to drop it even more. Then an hour or so after he heads back to Wisconsin he calls to tell us he's broken down. Some belt or something snapped and he overheated it and all this craziness. Well, what does he expect us to do? We didn't know that would happen. How could we? So after three days of many many calls from this really annoying (sorry!) guy he finally leaves us alone.

Next comes buying me a car which needs to be done asap because oops! I don't have a backup car to get to work in while I'm looking. Thankfully I found my wonderfully wonderful Jeep Grand Cherokee. :) But then came talking to the bank and the dealer and working out the details. Thankfully, that is complete and I am enjoying my lovely suv (equipped with GPS, remote start and quite large sunroof! Yay!).

Next up: My brother and brother-in-law both leaving to join the Air Force! Of course we wanted to spend time with them before they head off for months and months! That was busy and sad.

Finally, discovering that I am again doing the work of three people because my wonderful employers decide to fire the perfectly wonderful assistant I had finally gotten trained.

And, all the little details like trying to get help for our mortgage, trying to support my husband in his interests and trying to find time for fellowship with friends and like I said... August: Ooofta!

And that is my semi-update on why I have not blogged.

For now, adios. (Go take a nap... I think we both need it!)

My father, dreams, and baby

Today I am thinking about:

Bad dreams and infidelity.

Baby, baby, baby.

Trying to build my relationship with my heavenly father.

I am so tired of

hearing about infidelity and cheating and all that goes along with it. When Michael and I first got married we were given some marriage books to read. One book (which is a good book just frustrating for me) called His needs, Her needs by Dr. Harley made me incredibly paranoid that Michael would cheat on me. He deals with infidelity a lot and so the whole book was focused on keeping your spouse happy so he/she wouldn't cheat. Okay, it wasn't quite that simple but that's what kept playing in the back of my mind. I was so freaked out because I felt I couldn't keep Michael happy enough to keep him from cheating.

Then you hear about cheating in movies, in books, on the radio, on tv shows. It seems like the whole world is obsessed with cheaters. And that almost everybody cheats.

I am one person who would be absolutely horrified and beyond hurt if cheated on. I can't stand the thought of any other woman touching Michael and especially him wanting it. Unfortunately the devil keeps giving me horrible dreams about Michael. I wake up mad at him. Frustrated and sickened. I'm believing that God will give me peace and rest and no more bad dreams but I am so so tired of it right now. I trust Michael and yet the devil keeps using little things to make me doubt him. I've had more than enough of that.

I get so frustrated by the media when they glorify infidelity. Talk about planting seeds. Can you imagine the difference there would be if men (and women) weren't constantly faced with images and ideas that make it seem fun, exciting, glamorous. Blah! It's hard enough to maintain the excitement in marriage without that crap!

Anyway...

Onto other things that have been filling my thoughts today...

I am really wanting to be more disciplined in my life. In every area but specifically with spending time with my heavenly father.

What I really want is to be aware of his presence 24/7 and to learn how to fellowship with him all day. I don't want God relegated to 15 minute devotions or something but for now I think I need to start there. I haven't had a real relationship with God in quite a few years. I've continued to go to church and pray occasionally. I give my tithe and offerings but I miss having that intimate relationship. I know how to get there and yet I find myself putting it off and putting it off. So, time to get serious right? I guess I'll start with daily prayer and bible reading. You have to start somewhere right?

Today's scripture (I am reading a couple chapters a day...) is from Luke 1:11

¹¹ While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar. ¹² Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw him. ¹³ But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John. ¹⁴ You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, ¹⁵ for he will be great in the eyes of the Lord. He must never touch wine or other alcoholic drinks. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even before his birth.^{[b] 16} And he will turn many Israelites to the Lord their God. ¹⁷ He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah. He will prepare the people for the coming of the Lord. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children,^[c] and he will cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom of the godly.”

¹⁸ Zechariah said to the angel, “How can I be sure this will happen? I’m an old man now, and my wife is also well along in years.”

¹⁹ Then the angel said, “I am Gabriel! I stand in the very presence of God. It was he who sent me to bring you this good news! ²⁰ But now, since you didn’t believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born. For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper time.”

The part that was interesting to me was when the angel made Zechariah mute until his wife had the baby. I have been taught my whole life the power of words and confessions. I think it is really interesting how when Zechariah started to voice his doubts the angel struck him mute. So, his words would not undo what the Lord was doing in his wife. I purpose to speak life and health and love into this baby in my womb. This child will be 100% healthy, smart, coordinated, and in love with Jesus.

Speaking of baby....

I just keep thinking about baby. Baby, baby, baby. :) In 24 days I (hopefully) get to find out if my little darling is a boy or a girl. I am very excited for that! I want to start decorating after all. I have been doing some research on nursery colors and designs. So far I have found a few that I really like (at least the color schemes):